March Ministry Update
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| This is our leader team! I can't believe the school year is almost over and I am so thankful to have had them all on our team! |
Hello! This month's blog will be a bit different. I want to share about one of our students, Devereaux. She joined FOCUS at the end of the Spring semester in 2022 as a non-christian. Since then she has been learning and growing in her faith! Devereaux and I have a sweet friendship and I am so thankful for it. She shared with me some thoughts after reading through the book of Hosea. It was impactful for me so I thought I would share it with you, of course with her permission.
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| This is Devereaux! |
Hosea 5:15
"In their misery they will earnestly seek me"
This verse really spoke to me because grief has always been a part of my life. Originally it was the obstacle that caused me to feel so much despair. I couldn't believe in any type of afterlife despite yearning to believe because I dearly loved all of my friends that have died. Now I see my grief and my pain, as a way to connect to God. He knew grief and he knew pain just like us, and there's nothing more real than a sorrow like that. Writing my own laments helps me grow stronger in my faith, because that will always be a part of all of our realities.
The day before our winter retreat ended I was so sure I wanted to be a Christian but once I woke to someone else's screams of grief, I thought to myself "I don't think I'm so sure anymore". I knew grief was going to look different with a committed relationship to Jesus and I knew myself too well. I had these thoughts of "What if I grow to hate God just because he can't perform a miracle on my friend that has cancer?", I kept thinking about that idea, I hated the idea of resentment towards God because I would never want to put the blame on Him. Things will always happen, people will always die, and I don't know God's will and I never will understand because I'm just a tiny human.
I surrender the ability to know and even fully understand. Ultimately I think it's a blessing that we don't know everything. I know life is full of sorrows but God has proven to be good in so many different crevices of life. A tough life can be different when you have God and community by your side, I've definitely seen that proven in my own life!
Hosea 13:13
"When the time arrives, he doesn't have the sense to come out of the womb."
I kept having these moments where it was the perfect opportunity to declare (internally at least) that I was a Christian but I kept holding back. I followed Jesus' teachings but I couldn't form the sentence "I'm a Christian!" with the words in my head. I knew it was a serious choice so I was cautious about declaring it - even to myself. I had several moments where I thought "I want to follow him, but is this moment right? Alone in my room cuddling my cat, is that the way?" After reading Hosea fully I understood what it meant about those times arriving and not having the sense to come out of the womb, to be rebirthed with Christ. Your surroundings don't have to be "magical" or anything special, God is with us always! Whether it's alone in your room, in church, or at an Arby's – God is there.
In Christ,
Claire Umstead
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